Battle of the Perfect Couple
by loveyouback
Summary: What if Hermione and Ron began far before we thought they did? And how far would they go to make the other jealous?
1. Chapter 1

"Do you really think she snogged Krum?" Ron asked.

Harry opened his mouth, than closed it. Ron deduced the worst from this reaction.

"Bloody hell. Ginny's right. I really am the last idiot."

"You're not an idiot," Harry said automatically.

"Thanks mate, but I know you're obligated to say that. Things are going to change around here for me. Hermione can't think she can go snogging guys like Krum whenever she pleases."

Harry rose an eyebrow. What did Hermione have to do with Ron's lack of experience?

"Do I want to know?"

Ron was catching the eye of Lavender Brown, who'd been making googly eyes at him for the past two months. He winked.

Harry's jaw fell slack.

"Catchya later Harry, I've got some things I need to attend to."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Ron," Lavender said, blushing. Her friend, one of the Patil sisters, giggled and moved away, leaving Lavender and Ron alone.

"Lavender," Ron said. He wracked his brains hard to remember something that he had once heard Fred say to Angelina. "You have beautiful eyes."

Lavender turned an astonishing shade of scarlet.

"Why, you have very nice eyes as well."

Ron blinked, trying as hard as he could to think up something else.

"Skin. You know. You have great skin."

Lavender couldn't stop smiling.

Ron stuck his hands in his pockets and swayed back and forth awkwardly. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that Hermione had entered the common room.

Ron didn't think. He stepped forward and unceremoniously slapped his mouth Lavender's and stuck his tongue in her mouth. He had no idea if he was doing it right. But Lavender eagerly jabbed her tongue back at him and wrapped herself close to Ron so he took it as a positive sign.

_So this is what snogging's like._ Ron thought to himself. _Not bad. Should do this more often._

Lavender kept pushing closer and closer to Ron til he fell back onto the couch, Lavender on top of him.

Ron groaned a bit. Lavender was not the lightest girl in their grade. Lavender took it for passion and kissed him more vigorously.

_More spit than I expected._ Ron noted in an observatory manner.

Ron opened his eyes and glanced sideways. Lavender and him had attracted several stares, but he didn't care about them. He sought only one pair of eyes. He met Hermione's shocked expression across the room. Her laugh faded from her face.

Ron's lips curled up in an involuntary smile, before returning his full attention to Lavender, who had not seemed to notice his momentary slack and lack of response to her enthusiastic attempts.

Let the games begin.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione bolted up to her room in Gryffindor tower and slammed the door behind her. She felt liquid build up behind her soft brown eyes. What on earth was Ron doing? Just yesterday they had been considering doing what they had never thought possible… and now he was practically raping Lavender Brown on the couch? What had the world become! Who the hell did Ronald Bilius Weasley think he was? The tears evaporated before they had a chance to fall. Anger pulsed through every vein in Hermione's body and one single word shot to the forefronts of her brilliant mind.

Revenge.

Driven by blind anger, Hermione dug a camera out of her trunk and placed it strategically on a banister in her room. She tore down the stairs and back to the common room. She searched restlessly, until she found the subject who she was looking for. Cormac McLaggen. She marched over to him and gave him her best come hither look.

She didn't have much experience in the department of male specimens, but Cormac had been making sexual comments towards her ever since the start of their sixth year. He was really very attractive, with bright blue eyes, a strong jaw, and an athletic body, but Hermione had expressed no interest because of Harry and Ron's extreme hatred of the overconfident boy.

Cormac's eyes widened at Hermione's final acknowledgement of his existence, and didn't protest when she took his hand and led him to the girl's dormitories. Cormac's friends were all staring, but no one dared report Cormac McLaggen. Ron and Lavender, entangled on the couch, were completely oblivious to Hermione and Cormac.

"Finally got some sense into your pretty head, have you?" Cormac said confidently, as Hermione closed the door to her room, flipping the lock behind her.

Hermione just smiled. She waved her wand and muttered _Muffliato._ Cormac watched her, his eyes betraying his cool demeanor. He wanted her bad.

Hermione forged forward with a confidence that she never otherwise would have possessed. She backed Cormac so that he was sitting on the edge of her bed and she stood between his knees. Their eyes locked and Hermione took his hands in her own hands and placed them over her breasts. Cormac's eyes widened even larger, yet took the opening and cupped them. He couldn't believe that his fantasy of the beautiful yet nerdy Hermione Granger was coming true before his very eyes. Hermione leaned forward and their lips met. His hands groped at her excitedly. Hermione pushed Cormac back onto her bed and straddled him, keeping their mouths attached all the while. Cormac dared to let his hands wander under the hem of her shirt and back up. Hermione didn't even feel his touch, despite her massive awareness of how turned on she knew Cormac was. She felt his fingers undo her bra and caress her breasts.

Hermione threw her head back. "Oh Cormac!"

Then she shoved him off and redid her bra. Cormac looked adorably confused.

"Out," she said.

Cormac sat there for a moment, his lips chapped, his hair tousled. Then he seemed to comprehend Hermione's glare and he leapt up and out of her room.

The moment Cormac was gone, Hermione summoned the camera that she had placed and checked the photos. There were five shots, but the last was perfect. Hermione smiled to herself and began duplicating the photo. Hermione didn't think of anything but what Ron would say when he saw this little display.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry Potter woke up to the sound of Ron whistling a merry tune.

"What's got into you?" Harry asked, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "You seem awfully happy."

"Oh, nothing," Ron said. He wet his comb and ran in through his fire-engine red hair, continuing with his happy tune.

Seeing this, Harry jumped out of bed in alarm. Ron? Ron Weasley? Combing his hair? Something serious must have occurred. "Ron, are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Ron said, grinning. "I feel positively splendid. I feel like the King of the World. Ever see Titanic, mate? Muggle film. Ginny loves it."

Harry looked at Ron for a moment, considering his bizarre behavior. He shook his head. He had seen Ron under the influence of a love potion before. Not much fazed Harry anymore where Ron was concerned. Harry dressed quickly and the two headed downstairs for breakfast.

But when they reached the common room, they found their fellow Gryffindors grouped together. They were all looking at something and laughing and talking amongst themselves in unusually hushed voices.

"What are you lot doing?" Ron asked, cheerily. "Off to the food central everyone!"

But no one seemed to hear Ron. A copy of what they all were looking at fluttered to the ground at Ron and Harry's feet. Ron's eyes bugged out of his pink-skinned face, his excessive good cheer draining away instantly.

Hermione Granger had her head thrown back in apparent ecstasy, while on top of Cormac McLaggen, whose hands were lost beneath her shirt.

Ron felt sick as he watched the moving photograph replay over and over again. Hermione wrenching her lips away from Cormac and throwing her head back as if she'd never felt more pleasure in all her life. What the hell? Hermione was supposed to be devastated over him and Lavender! She was supposed to come crying to him and Ron would get his much needed ego boost. All would be fine.

Harry froze. He was not deceived by Ron's apparent interest in Lavender Brown. He knew better than anyone that Ron was hopelessly in like with Hermione. One look at Ron was enough for Harry.

Ron's face was full of pain. He looked like a four year old, whose ice cream had been taken away. He looked like his heart had been ripped out and stomped on all over the pavement.

"I'll be right back, Ron," Harry said stonily. It was time for a little talk with Ms. Granger.


	5. Chapter 5

It took Harry some time to locate Hermione, but he finally found her in a desolate corner of the library. She was determinedly focused on her Potions textbook, but Harry could tell she was more than aware of the more-populated-than-usual library. Indeed, there were several more students than the norm, who all seemed to possess a copy of Hermione's scandalous photo and were gossiping with their friends while throwing very obvious looks in Hermione's direction.

Harry approached Hermione, but unable to block out the snippets of conversation he overheard on his way.

"Heard she's a wild one," someone said.

"Can't believe McLaggen was the one to finally crack open Queen Nerd's shell," someone else said. "If you know what I mean." This brought along a round of laughs that Madam Pince hushed.

"Wonder if I could get some…"

Harry himself felt disturbed at the comments, and didn't understand what Hermione was playing at.

"Hermione," Harry said.

"Yes, Harry," Hermione said, her tone pinched and formal. She didn't bother to look up.

Harry knew immediately that she regretted what she'd done.

"Why? That's all I want to know," Harry said finally.

"Why don't you ask Won Won," Hermione said. "Maybe Mr. Intelligent would care to enlighten you."

Harry sighed. He understood all too perfectly. Ron and Hermione liked each other. That was clear enough. Yet Ron was painfully stubborn and Hermione had a stick up her ass, though the latest photos seemed to dispute this well-known fact.

"Look Hermione, Ron feels awful. You should have seen the look on his face."

"Good," Hermione said, though she felt a pang of something like sorrow. She knew she was already regretting what her antics were doing for her reputation.

"No seriously, Hermione. He'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but I think he really likes you," Harry said. "Look, he's my best mate alright? I've never seen him like this before."

Hermione looked up from her book for the first time. "You really think so?" Her face was full of hope.

"Absolutely," Harry said. "Go get him."

"Now?" Hermione said, suddenly looking terrified.

"Yes, now! Go Hermione, go get him!" Harry said. He felt empowered as he watched a happy-faced Hermione scamper from the library. He had never seen Hermione happier.

_ Maybe I should start 'helping others' more often!_ Harry thought to himself.

Harry sat there for a moment, before realizing he was sitting alone in the library. Not allowed. No, no, no. Harry stood up with a smile and headed for the Great Hall, a fresh spring to his step. He was suddenly starving.


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione's heart was full. Her hopes were high. She felt was if she were soaring on a cloud.

_"He'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but I think he really likes you."_

Harry's words played over and over again in Hermione's head as she raced towards the common room. Ron wasn't there. She checked the boys' dormitories. He wasn't there either. The more places she checked and her inability to find Ron made her pulse speed up to unhealthy rates. Where was he? Finally Hermione checked the prefects' bathroom out of pure desperation.

The first thing Hermione saw was Ron's red hair. He was bathing in the massive, pool-like tub that only the privileged prefects had access to. His hair was wet and matted to the side of his head with massive foamy bubbles. Hermione's heart leapt. She forgave him. She forgave him completely. Ron, Ron, Ron.

A girlish shriek erupted and Hermione froze. The entire scene became rapidly obvious.

"I'm serious," Ron said, throwing more fluffy bubbles at the dark headed girl in the bath with him, who was certainly not a Gryffindor prefect. "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life."

Hermione felt like someone had ran Godric Gryffindor's sword through her perfect flat stomach.

Romilda Vane smiled shyly at Ron. She was thinking about how much cuter he was than Harry. All Harry had going for him was his reputation. Besides, he didn't even want her. Here was Ron, adorable Ron Weasley, practically begging for her. "And what about Lavender? The Granger whore?"

"Lavender is nothing to me," Ron said. "And Hermione? She's exactly what you just said. Isn't that enough for you?" Ron had moved closer to Romilda, so that he was mere inches away from her face. He didn't know where all his inspiration was coming from, but he knew he sounded good.

Hermione's breath quickened. She wanted to move, to leave, to get away. She didn't want to see this. But she couldn't move. She was rooted to the spot as Romilda allowed Ron to kiss her. Hermione watched as Ron pulled their naked bodies close in the hot, frothy bubbles and held Romilda delicately behind her head. Watched as Romilda wrapped her legs around Ron's torso and he grabbed her around the ass. Watched as Ron trailed kisses down Romilda's neck. Heard Ron moan Romilda's name. Heard Romilda beg for more of "the Ronald Monster."

Hermione ran from the bathroom, tears streaming down her beautiful face. She couldn't believe Ron. Not again. How on earth had they gotten here?


	7. Chapter 7

Draco Malfoy sat in the Slytherin common room, his platinum blonde hair gelled perfectly, his arm thrown casually around Pansy Parkinson, who snuggled up to his shoulder. He acted like he didn't have a huge pile of parchment enumerating the coursework he would not have to do. Blaise Zabini was taking care of that. Crabbe and Goyle sat across from him, doing none of their work either. They simply followed Malfoy's lead of sitting around like a sack, without thinking ahead enough to set up for someone else to do their work. Homework. Who really does it?

"Little Weasel's growing up too fast for his pants it seems," Draco sneered.

Pansy cackled sycophantically.

"Not as fast as his bushy-haired buddy," Goyle said. "Wasser name again?"

"We've only gone to school with her for 6 years," Pansy giggled.

"That Granger," Draco spit through his gleaming veneers. "I don't see why everyone is so obsessed with that photograph. It's just a filthy mudblood and an arrogant bloodtraitor."

He glared at his 'friends' when they didn't all respond emphatically. Immediately, they all chorused. "Oh yeah"s. There was an awkward silence.

Only Pansy was stupid enough to pipe up, "I think she's fairly pretty for a mudblood." She watched Draco's face closely at her words.

As could have been easily predicted, his face tightened and he turned his eyes on Pansy. "She's a mudblood," Draco said, as if that explained everything. "Even if she were, it wouldn't matter. Let me repeat, _a mudblood._"

Pansy smiled in a self-satisfied way.

"You're right babe, of course you are," Pansy said, kissing down Draco's strong jaw line.

Draco felt impatient. He let Pansy kiss him and preen over him, but he merely sat there, staring unblinkingly into the flickering flames and taking an occasional sip of the burning firewhiskey from the tumbler he held.

He couldn't understand the desire that was flooding him. As Pansy suckled his ear, he imagined Hermione Granger pressing her slender, lithe body up against him. As Pansy's hand drifted downward, he imagined Hermione Granger doing his bidding. Draco had never felt jealousy over anything in all his life, for he had always gotten whatever he wanted, when he wanted. And now he couldn't deny the desire for something, someone, who was more than entirely out of the question.


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione stared at the splotch of green ink that was forming, her quill hovering over the unmarked parchment. She had her entire essay planned out by section in her head, but her thoughts were elsewhere. She was painfully aware of Ron, who sat in the far corner of the library, tickling Penelope Clearwater, who emitted high-pitched giggles that reached glass-breaking decibels.

"Hermione," Harry said gently, sitting down beside Hermione. Still, she jumped visibly.

She was nervous, frazzled, and on edge. She hadn't gotten a full night's sleep for the past week, since she'd walked in on Ron and Romilda. The images plagued her mind, far worse than those of Ron and Lavender. The rumors that whirled around Ron's recent behavior tortured her the most. Hermione had far too much dignity to inquire into the scandalous stories that she heard about Ron and his latest girl. She knew that the majority of them had to be false, yet the possibilities drove her crazy.

The gossip that buzzed around Ron's completely turned new leaf had drowned out most of the drama over Hermione's photograph. Still, more people frequented the library than usual, and Hermione often caught girls staring at her with their heads tilted to the side quizzically, and guys leering at her as she walked past. Head up, eyes forward, books clutched to chest, she was _Hermione Granger._

"Hello, Harry," Hermione said. The quiver in her voice betrayed her as she rapidly began scrawling across the parchment.

Harry sighed. _So much for helping_,he thought. Ron had really messed up this time. Harry was getting sick and tired of Hermione acting all distant and false with him. He was sick of having to run back and forth between his two friends. He was sick of Ron acting like an egotistical playboy. He wanted his friends back.

"Hermione. This has got to stop. This is getting ridiculous!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Harry," Hermione said. The parchment was now halfway covered in luxurious, tiny green script.

"Hermione!"

Hermione looked up, as if the mere action of doing so exhausted her.

Harry looked into her deep brown eyes for a moment. She stared resolutely back. He could see the layers of pain, despair, regret, lonesomeness, and anger. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione's friendly warm eyes narrowed into such as Mrs. Weasley-like stare that abruptly snapped it shut. Harry shook his head and left the library. He had tried.

Hermione turned back to her essay and immediately her eyes filled with liquid, a single drop landing on the title and the green ink instantly began to expand into the white.

"Oops," a deep voice said, tinged slightly with proud sarcasm. "My bad."

Someone had barreled straight into Hermione's chair, and in the process of catching her from her fall, grabbed her ass. There was no way on earth that it had been an accident.

Hermione turned to release her pent up anger on the violator, her wand clutched in her left hand. Instead, she was met with a pair of deep blue eyes that were filled with what seemed like legitimate concern. And yet these eyes gazed out of the soul of none other than Draco Malfoy.


	9. Chapter 9

"You!" Hermione said. A thought about how Ron's reaction would have been so similar to her own flitted across her brain. It was quickly banished by Malfoy's disturbingly lascivious stare.

"Yes, me, Granger," Draco said, blatantly eyeing her. "I've enjoyed your recent little display. I know a lot of people have. I've heard them pleasuring themselves to it."

Hermione pinked with embarrassment.

"Leave me alone, Draco," Hermione managed to say.

But of course Draco didn't. He slid easily into the chair beside Hermione, casually pushing her hair back and trailing his cool fingertips behind her neck. Hermione's entire body stiffened. "I've never seen something so sexy. Now, whenever I see you, Granger, that's the only thing I can think of."

Hermione tried her best to hide her mortification. What was Draco doing? Why was he saying these things to her? She knew full well that he despised her for her mere existence. This was a whole new level of hatred, even for Malfoy.

"I don't think Pansy would be very happy to hear that," Hermione retorted. She cursed herself inwardly and turned back to her essay. Maybe if she ignored him he'd leave.

"I just want to take you to my room and ravage you…"

Hermione looked up, alarmed. Draco looked quite smug to have elicited such a reaction from the mousy Hermione Granger.

"Go away, Draco!" Hermione said. She pointed her quill at him threateningly, but the effect was lost on the fact that it was shaking uncontrollably. She was on the brink of bursting into another set of tears.

Draco's smug grin grew wider. He opened his mouth to make another inevitably snarky and sexual comment when suddenly Ron was between Hermione and Draco.

Draco was surprised. But Hermione was frozen.

"That's enough," Ron said. "I believe she's asked you twice for you to leave her be."

Neither Draco nor Hermione made any movement.

"Leave," Ron snarled.

Draco got up this time, seeming to think better of his initial decision. As he brushed past Ron, he purposefully shoved shoulders with him forcefully. Passing by Hermione he whispered, "My offer stands."

Hermione didn't need to guess what the offer was. She didn't care one bit.

Could it be? Ron was coming back for her? What was she thinking? It was up to HER to accept him. HE was the one who had…

"Ron?" she began hesitantly.

Ron turned and regarded her for a moment. Then he turned and strolled briskly away once more, leaving poor Hermione more bewildered than ever.

_Sorry that it took such a long time to get this recent chapter out! Had exams and I've been busy as hell! Thank GOD they're done =)! Hopefully I'll get a few chaps out over break. Hope you enjoy!_

_-loveyouback_


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